Menopause Rage: Understanding the Emotional Rollercoaster and How to Find Balance
Have you ever found yourself suddenly overwhelmed with intense frustration or anger, seemingly out of nowhere, and wondered if it might be connected to your changing hormones?
This is what many are now calling Menopause Rage, a phenomenon that leaves even the most patient women feeling short-fused and emotionally unpredictable as they transition through menopause.
I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately in my practice and my health coaching business with women who feel like they’ve become strangers to themselves. One woman told me, “I love my family so much, but lately, it’s like everything they do makes me want to scream.”
Another shared how she’s been feeling like her emotions are swinging so wildly that she doesn’t even recognize who she is anymore.
And then there’s the anxiety – the kind that makes you feel shaky, both physically and emotionally - comes out of nowhere and it oh so unpleasantly arrives with a racing heart!
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???
It’s completely unsettling.
Personally, I’ve been struggling with word retrieval lately. I’ll be mid-sentence, and suddenly the word I’m looking for just disappears. Or I know exactly what I want to say, but the word simply won’t come out. Some people immediately jump to suggesting, 'You should see a neurologist!' but I’ve noticed it’s closely tied to where I am in my hormonal cycle. So, let me ride the hormonal tide…
These experiences aren’t just isolated frustrations – they’re real, physiological shifts happening and damn they don’t feel good at all.
Menopause Rage - the hormonal Changes
Hormonal changes aren’t new to us.
In fact, if we rewind back to puberty (or we are living with tweens), we see how hormones like estrogen and progesterone begin to flood our bodies, shaping not only our physical development but also our emotional responses.
During adolescence, a rise in estrogen has been shown to promote nurturing, altruistic behaviors.
In fact, studies suggest that as young girls enter puberty, their heightened levels of estrogen enhance social bonding, empathy, and care for others. This surge of sex hormones primes us to become more relational and emotionally available, reinforcing roles centered on caregiving .
But fast forward to the end of our reproductive years, and the picture looks very different.
As estrogen and progesterone levels begin to decline in perimenopause and menopause, the emotional stability that those hormones once supported starts to waver. Instead of the nurturing and calm presence we might have embodied in earlier years, we find ourselves feeling short-tempered, anxious, and, frankly, disconnected.
This is the dark side of hormonal withdrawal – our brain, which has relied on estrogen for decades to regulate mood and maintain a sense of equilibrium, is now scrambling to adjust.
Why Is This Happening?
The emotional swings we’re experiencing aren’t just in our heads – they’re rooted in biology.
During perimenopause, estrogen and progesterone levels start to fluctuate wildly. This can impact the brain’s limbic system, which regulates emotions.
You might be fine one moment and then find yourself snapping over something small the next.
Estrogen, especially, has a profound effect on mood regulation by enhancing the activity of serotonin – one of the brain’s feel-good chemicals.
During puberty, when estrogen rises, we often see increased social bonding and nurturing instincts. However, during menopause, as estrogen sharply drops, the brain experiences a sort of 'withdrawal' from its stabilizing effects, leaving us more prone to irritability and emotional volatility .
Progesterone also plays a role here.
Often referred to as the body’s natural 'anti-anxiety' hormone, it helps promote relaxation and emotional balance. When this hormone declines during menopause, feelings of restlessness and irritability can intensify, contributing to the sense that we’re no longer in control of our emotions.
The other day, I was telling my mother about a recent recipe I created. As I was searching for the words - and they weren’t coming out - I began to feel scared and frustrated.
She proceeded to laugh it off and tell me stories of her having to stick her head in the freezer when she was going through menopause because her hot flashes were so intense.
Damn, when we don’t feel like ourselves, our fear and angst can quickly morph into anger and detachment.
Recognizing the Hormonal Connection
It’s important to recognize that what we’re feeling is not a sign of failure or weakness.
These emotional swings are deeply connected to the hormonal changes we’re going through.
Studies have shown that the fluctuations of estrogen and progesterone during perimenopause can significantly impact mood regulation. For example, low estrogen levels have been linked to increased irritability, while lower levels of progesterone can contribute to feelings of anxiety.
In fact, research published in Menopause journal highlights the connection between hormonal shifts and mood disturbances during this transition time.
Another study from The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism found that women going through the menopause transition are at a higher risk for developing mood disorders like depression and anxiety, thanks in part to these hormone fluctuations.
While it can feel overwhelming, understanding the root cause of these feelings can be a relief.
When we know that these emotions are a result of something beyond our control, it’s easier to practice self-compassion.
It’s not that we’re broken – our bodies are simply adapting to a new normal.
What Can We Do About It?
So, what can we do when we’re feeling consumed by “Menopause Rage” or when our anxiety seems unbearable?
While we can’t completely stop the hormonal changes from happening, we can certainly support our bodies in this transition.
Here are three strategies that I’ve found helpful – both in my practice and personally:
Embrace Adaptogenic Herbs Adaptogens are nature’s stress-relievers, helping our bodies balance cortisol levels and reduce the emotional intensity of hormonal shifts. Ashwagandha, for example, has been shown to help reduce anxiety and improve mood. Studies from The Journal of Psychopharmacology show that ashwagandha helps to ease that wired-and-tired feeling in many adults experiencing high stress and fatigue.
Another favorite is Rhodiola Rosea, which has been linked to reduced fatigue and enhanced mood stability. It’s one of those herbs that can give you a little extra resilience when you’re feeling emotionally drained.
Mindful Movement When we’re in the midst of Menopause Rage or anxiety, sometimes the last thing we want to do is move, but exercise – especially mindful movement like yoga, tai chi, or even a gentle walk – can be incredibly grounding. Physical activity helps release endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Plus, it helps regulate cortisol, bringing us out of that constant state of fight-or-flight.
Personally, I’ve found that even just stepping outside for a few deep breaths and a walk around the block can completely shift my mood. It gives me space to reconnect with myself and regain perspective.
Nourish Your Brain with Omega-3s Omega-3 fatty acids, found in fish oil, flaxseed, and walnuts, play a crucial role in brain health. Low levels of omega-3s have been linked to mood disorders, so adding these into your diet can help stabilize your emotions. They’re anti-inflammatory, which helps reduce the brain fog and irritability that come with hormonal shifts.
I’ve made it a habit to incorporate more omega-3-rich foods into my diet, and I’ve noticed a difference in how I manage stress and anxiety. It’s a small change, but it has made a big impact.
There Is Hope and Support Available
Menopause, with all its emotional twists and turns, can make you feel out of control, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. By understanding the biological reasons behind Menopause Rage, anxiety, and irritability, we can take steps to bring balance back into our lives.
Through Functional Wellness practices including natural remedies like adaptogens, mindful movement, and nourishing your body and brain, it is possible to feel more grounded and in tune with yourself.
If any of what I’ve described resonates with you, know that you’re not alone, and you don’t have to go through this alone. Together, we can uncover the underlying causes of your symptoms and create a personalized plan that supports your mind, body, and spirit during this transition.
Let’s work together to regain your sense of self, manage these hormonal shifts, and create lasting health and wellness. Reach out to me today, and let’s start your journey to feeling more like you again.